Thursday, April 7, 2016

Waiting For A #3 Bus...

Relating to an old expression describing life's propensity for frustrating the innocent by sending things all at once, or not at all. Standing at the bus stop on many of the numerous days of my life, the bus has failed to come. The resulting frustration is only exaggerated when suddenlty after much waiting two buses arrive together!

And so it is with posts on this blog! Truth be told, the preceding posts were written months ago only to be abandonned for whatever reasons at the time. Regarding the one on pain, the object of my affections appeared at my shoulder, reading what I was writing at a time when my writing would have seemed inappropriate, hence the shutting down of the project without much ado...

The second post about my beautiful carnivorous feathered friend probably just ran out of battery power leading to a happily fibro-fogged forgetfulness and it being published today. I still have no photos of this hungry beastie, but maybe one day I'll take up residence in a slightly warmer field with my tripod and a telephoto lense. Probably by that time he'll be happily married with chicks of his own and the killing spree will have intensified to the point of no return!

(I've found the most delicious photo of a common buzzard that shows this magnificent beast off beautifully in flight and hopefully the gentleman who took it will allow me to use it. Fingers crossed!)

My greatest regret isn't so much the happily coloured flock of small birdies moving out of the area for fear of being eaten, rather that my Buzzard hasn't taken to killing the rodent population of the area, resulting in poison being laid in the attic, beneath the floor boards and in the ceiling. The irony may even lead to the untimely demise of Mr Buzzard as apparently said rodents flee the confines of a nice warm house and prefer to die in the wild, outside where the laying of poison is the number one killer of many birds of prey on a global scale. I don't want to participate in the pandemic slaughter of birds, nor do I want to live with mice and whoever else fancy their chances at Chez Moi...

By Arend from Oosterhout, Netherlands - BuizerdUploaded by snowmanradio, CC BY 2.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=18758055
I felt rotten when I started to write, having been snubbed by an erstwhile friend and colleague just moments before. I've never been deliberately and openly blanked before and found the act to be shocking and most hurtful. I understand that we all have bad days and occasionally find ourselves unable to acknowledge folk for whatever reason, but even on the worst of those days I've never sat in front of a grinning, waving idiot and failed to react! To be stared at whilst doing these things is what makes it so bad. I'm at a loss, but I'm not raving or better yet raging about it, just dismayed I suppose.

My friend has been rude and disrespectful too many times for this most recent act to be totally unexpected I suppose. No doubt when they want something they'll try and contact me and pretend that this hasn't happened but they'll find it hard as I won't be opening my heart to them again. I will be forthright and polite and make it clear that that horse has bolted, but there's no need to be unpleasant or rude. Nor shall I be either.

Meanwhile I have removed myself as administrator of a facebook page I set up for an educational group I helped set up some eight years ago and made this person the editor-in-chief. This isn't a malicious act, I would've deleted the page altogether if it were! It just makes sense and it's something I'd considered several times since I departed the group, so now I've done it and it means that I won't be getting all those notifications anymore. Hooray!

If only the rest of life were that simple. I used to complain that I hadn't the time or the energy, then it was the energy or the money and now I have all the time in the world, no money and very little energy. At least these days I spend each of those comodities a little more carefully than I might've done in the past. Emotional and physical energy is too precious to waste on people and things that are undeserving, as are time and money.

By Artwork by Holly Fischer - http://open.umich.edu/education/med/resources/second-look-series/materials - Eye Slide 4, CC BY 3.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=24367146

Finally, if a little slowly my storage problems are being addressed, the front room is almost finished and I have a kitchen that vaguely resembles a kitchen. These projects have been slow burners, largely because of all of the above and more. A poke in the eye with a sharp stick may have resulted in at least one of these projects being slowed to a halt, however it was actually a blunt stick resulting in several examinations of the retina and no sudden movements! Thankfully the detachment of the vitreous hasn't led to any serious damage and will shortly right itself without any further intervention. It's a shame that the same can't be said of my motivation. I'll get there soon, maybe even tomorrow because it's a whole new day...

Meanwhile I shall keep an eye out for my fine feathered friends, small and large because frankly their company is far more desirable than the alternative after all once snubbed, twice shy!

Buzz-ard Off...

Okay, so I seem to be having a bit of an off day today but that's okay because I know that I'm going to have them from time to time. After twelve years of this I should know things like that and yet sometimes I wonder...

Usually I manage to drag myself out of bed and embark on one of my many projects by midday on days like today. Today's different though because I'm aching from head to toe as I often am, but today I seem to have the new and somewhat debilating problem of dizziness to contend with. I'm guessing the front room won't be getting that final lick of paint after all. Still, with the wonders of modern science I can entertain myself quite happily from my bed without having to move a muscle.

What makes this day seem worse than it is is the view from my bedroom window. As the rain pours from the sky I can hear the drops hitting the roof above my head which is never a good sign. Maybe it's just as well that DG hadn't planned to plough his fields today after all. One of the down sides of persuading him to join me in my scouting adventures is that farming often gets in the way, as scouting often gets in the way of his farming commitments. It seems that today isn't one of those days as the weather allows him a guilt free conscience, though it may also make for a miserable adventure bivvouacking in Killinthomas...!

On another note I can see the reason for the lack of small colourful birds this winter sitting in one of the trees at the top of the field patiently watching for its next victim. My closest neighbours just happen to be the colony of rooks that reside in the stand of sycamore trees outside the kitchen window. They tried intimidating him and failed miserably giving it up after ten minute despite their size and number.

This fearsome predator is a single juvenile common buzzard. I first became aware of him early in the evening in the Spring of 2015 while driving a nearby country road, he startled me as he suddenly arose in front of the car. With a broad wing span the sudden flash of his yellow tallons lead to my seventeen year old son exclaiming that we'd just witnessed an eagle lunging in front of the car! "Don't be ridiculous!" was all I could muster in return.

Try as I may, I've never managed to capture a decent photograph of this magnificent bird. I've crept around (in my car) reversing back and forwards, done u-turns and snuck back to the latest point of sighting, admired him from below until he tired of my adulation and flew off into nearby fields, thus blocking my pursuit. He is quite simply a beautiful killing machine and the reason my pretty feathered friends haven't visited the damson bush outside my window this winter. Admittedly I have failed to provide them with quantities of seed and nuts this year for fear of providing my buzzard with a ready supply of food, but that's beside the point!

It's kind of eerie to be sitting watching him for such an extended period. This is something I hadn't ever anticipated...

Painful Perspective On Life...

Sitting here at the beginning of what promises to be a good year I suddenly became aware of the fact that my left shoulder was quite painful. The problem was almost certainly caused by my hunching up my shoulders whilst knitting the cuff of a new pair of fingerless gloves for several hours last night. The solution to this being the tried and trusted taking of strong painkillers in combination with mild painkillers (as neither works by themselves) and the application of topical voltarol gel.

Sometimes I worry about all my aches and pains. Generally speaking they range between mild to extreme pain, or put another way between 2 & 10 on the numerical pain scale, ie 0 = no pain to 10 = the worst pain possible. Thankfully today's pain probably reached no higher than a manageable 4. I suppose the difference between manageable and unmanageable is the extent to which my activities are impeded. Recently will-power and a little practical help in the form of various splints and belts has also helped.

So here am I feeling sorry for myself today, while those close to me are suffering far greater discomforts. So far my problems have been successfully treated with various lower level medications of a narcotic and non-narcotic nature, adaptation of routine, posture and sheer bloody determination while I've had the priviledge of supervising and managing the administration of sustained released controlled drugs, mild non-narcotic, mild narcotic & non-steroidal preparations to somebody whose need is far greater than my own. In addition to this has been the application of 3 lidocaine patches hacked into pieces and distributed along the lines of pain.

Perspective has much to do with one's experience of that most subjective of all experiences, ie pain. Thank goodness your pain isn't mine but I do wish that my pain was yours. If it were possible I would hop into your body for the duration and use my knowledge of pain control, etc to make the experience so much better for you. Only I can't! As bad as some of my worse days can be, they aren't a patch on the acute pain that you could so easily avoid if only you were able to understand what I can and better yet enact. This isn't going to happen easily...