Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Cranky? Polly Supposes She Could Always Go Out To The Shed And Do Some Crafting Instead...

Hi! I'm so tempted to say something crass like "I didn't see you there!" But of course I won't so I'm just going to sit here and feel miserable instead...

Doesn't that bode well? What a start to a blog post, I mean, really?! Forgive me folks, but I'm just in that sort of mood. I've got a touch of gastro-enteritis which has lasted a whole week and I'm pretty fed up with the whole thing now. The cramps are subsiding naturally, but my tummy feels bubbly, or at least it did until I took one of the Buscopan tablets my family doctor gave me...

The other thing she gave me was dietary advice, ie light diet with a high carbohydrate content and low protein, fibre and fat. All of those things, at the moment have slightly less than desirable consequences. I'm pretty sure you don't want to hear all about that now, do you?

To make matters worse I had intended visiting my family doctor last Friday. Essentially this is/was for reassurance as much as anything and a private sick certificate which is an essential requirement for my employers. Friday came and Friday went and no visit to the doctors. Monday came and Monday went and no visit to the doctors.

Tuesday came and it's exactly a week since this all flared up and that definitely merits a visit to the doctors surgery. I need that certificate as a matter of urgency at this stage. I'd intended to be back to work at the end of last week, after all things like this usually only go on for a couple of days or so, don't they? As a result, combined with the fact that this thing has actually been pretty mild and there's little enough the doctor can do anyway, I just kept putting the appointment off until I felt a little bit better in my self. Mistake...

Actually, that was a big mistake. I should have sent the cert in for receipt on day 3 in order to qualify for the sick pay scheme which is available at the discretion of my BIG BOSS. On day four and a half (duty wise) my call is transferred to her office and I am given a severe ticking off for being in breech of the absentism policy and as we've had this conversation before (errr, no we haven't!) she's left with no alternative than to withhold my sick pay for this period!

At this stage I could go on, and on, and on some more. But I won't. It would achieve nothing. The only person to suffer from this wrath would be l'il ole me, and anyway I get the last laugh (shhhhh, say nothing...!) The fact is that I haven't worked up enough hours yet to be eligible for the sick pay scheme and this is my only consolation - and if my BIG BOSS is reading this please, please take this as the veritable thumb to nose wave...

The good news is that my family doctor was more than sympathetic towards my situation. She confirmed the presence of rip roaring Borborygmi, although by the time she was treated with an earful of it it had calmed dramatically. Earlier in the week it had been audible from the other side of the room - yes honestly! In response to this she prescribed a drug called Buscopan in the hopes that it might just settle the cramps and silence the rumbling noises emanating from my overactive gut.

Admittedly I'm not quite so happy about the other part of her recommendations for recovery. Having recently acquired a cooker that actually works I've indulged in all sorts of wonders ranging from home made leavened bread and pizza to vegetarian Homity Pie รก la the original Cranks Recipe Book. I've revelled in being able to do this and once feeling that bit better tucked in with relish. Sadly the results were all too obvious, but I'm fed up of bland, carbohydrate based foods! And so my doctor has put me back onto the obligatory light diet.

So while I fade away to nothing (fat chance) the lads will be tucking in to calorie laden riches of grilled lamb or pork chops, fried onions, fresh vegetables and maybe some chips or a baked potato lathered in rich, greasy, golden BUTTER!!! Suffice to say that I am not a 'Cranky' Polly, rather a slightly miserable one instead and have confined myself to the realm of my computer desk for the foreseeable future while certain other people cook dinner, though I could always go out to the shed and do some crafting, I suppose...

Polly

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