Pardon? You Did What Polly?

Yesterday, I finally embarked upon my keep get-fit regime. This entailed a visit to Tog 24, the purchase of some lovely breathable garments made from bamboo/charcoal fabric, unfortunately all dark grey or black, but hey, they were on promo. So I was happy, enthused (finally) and the sun was shining.

About three or maybe four years ago I purchased a new bicycle. Purple of course. Sadly, its first outing entailed a gruelling trip to a neighbouring village which lies about four miles away. As the children were much younger then I was compelled to follow them as they cycled off into the distance with little or no thought for their tired old Mum trailing behind them. These days I'd probably hurl abuse at them and turn for home...

Anyway the long and short of the above paragraph is that was the very last time I used my brand new sparkling purple bicycle. In the meanwhile both the children have commandeered its services from time to time and it's no longer as shiny or new. Still, it's in pretty good shape, it's mine and it works.

I decided a few days ago, in my infinite wisdom that I am going to walk the Dublin Marathon for charity. So, with just over six weeks to go it really was time to make a move on 'training'. As one of the symptoms of fibromyalgia is a lack of body temperature regulation. I am not only inclined to feel the cold, but also the heat. This of course means that I always have a top layer with me, even in the heat of summer.

At one time, before my diagnosis and the onset of reliable medication which have helped with this annoying and somewhat problematic symtom my family had often laughed at my insistence on wearing thick Aran jumpers/cardigans on the hottest of days. Even now, I tend to layer up for hikes up the mountains, as temperatures can vary depending on the altitude and the terrain.

One of our Scouts once asked me why I insisted upon wearing so many layers if I get sooo hot. My reply? So that when it's cold I'm warm and when it's hot I can strip off, with the added advantage of being able to share my clothing with kids who've just got soaked during a water fight in a mountain river...

To return to the purple bicycle of yesterday evening; I had also purchased a computer which measures distance, kilometres/miles per hour, calories burned and other exciting things like that. Yesterday it was finally installed on the front fork of my bike and put to good use on its inaugural journey.

Apparently I cycled a full four kilometres around the block in just over twenty-two minutes. Admittedly I stopped to catch my breath once or twice, but otherwise I was pretty impressed with my performance. This was especially due to the fact that despite my exertions, I wasn't particulary hot or sweaty - this is a first. So, the breathable fabrics worked and so did my poor muscles! (This gear will come in handy for mountain hiking!)

What did come as a surprise was the fact that once stopped and allowed to recover from the shock of actually exercising I became wheezy. So much so that I unwrapped my standby Salamol inhaler and took a couple of puffs. And then another - thankfully the wheezing stopped.

Today, is my last day of smoking. My first day of continued exercise - not only did I do four and a half hours of strenuous ground clearance in my Mum's garden I also walked the mile to the village for her newspaper. Okay, so it's actually 6/10's of a mile, but I did walk back again and only stopped to talk to the neighbours twice. This time I was in my all cotton gardening gear and got quite hot and sticky.

Apparently, I've turned over a new leaf. I counted my points for breakfast, dinner and tea and earned a whole days points on top of that for use in a well deserved glass or two of red wine.

My only regrets are that I've become so unfit that any of this is necessary and that I couldn't get my flaming chainsaw going after it ran out of petrol - and yes, this was after the fuel tank had been refilled! Still, I probably earned another thousand calories in the process. So now I'm off to sample some more of the nice red wine...

ABBA-Cadabra Polly

Whoo-who?! Hee, hee, hee! I am laughing all the way to the bank this morning - oh, yes I am...

If only that were true, but I did get my Amazon Associates Report and was thrilled to learn that this month I have finally succeeded in achieving an envious 100% conversion rate and have actually earned some money. Yessssss, all of GBP£0.10...


I am so excited about this ridiculously small amount of money because I am a staunch believer in looking after the pennies. After all, how else would I be able to afford those little luxuries, like food? Seriously though, the knowledge that I have earned anything through sales of books from my Amazon Store is at the very least satisfying.

I, did as a result, go back over reports received in recent months and found that my total earnings amount to the ridiculous sum of forty-seven pence over the last year. The reason I had failed to even look at my reports is the knowledge that they were all empty, or so I thought! What a shame that my bookworm family and friends cannot be persuaded to shop via Amazon at all times.

Perhaps this is because they failed to listen, when I urged them to visit the site through the link on my page? Could this be because of the ridiculous amount of photography equipment displayed on my front page? Or, is it because they are every bit as cynical and suspicious of anything other than the Amazon site itself? After all there are a lot of phisher-men out there these days with fraudulent links, aren't there? Whatever the reason it is apparent that they now are venturing forth with gay abandon and filling up my account with pounds (rather parts thereof!) sterling...

I suppose there is a clear message for me as an Amazon Associate (shop-keeper!) and that is to tidy up my shop front and apply a little savvy. Window dressing is an art form in its own right and can and does make the difference between good and bad sales. A good example of window dressing right here on the world wide web is my friend Lorna Sixsmith's website; it is professional, attractive, functional and efficient. If I had any money to spare, I'd be off down to the Carlow/Kilkenny border like a shot...

Just look at Harrods in Knightsbridge or Brown Thomas here in Dublin. Their window displays are world famous, with queues of people flocking annually to admire their Christmas Windows for generations! Obviously not everyone will actually spend money on every visit, some just like to browse and keep their money firmly in their purses, but we are all agreed that such establishments spend a fortune on promoting their image and a perception of quality goods at quality prices.

Whether this is true or not is irrelevant. Yes, there are brands for sale in both of these establishments which demand a months wages for something a simple and practical as a handbag! And yet, in some cases there is a waiting list for the same items which extend to well over two years. Despite this, such places also carry items which were once the bastion of well bred and monied families, which through the simple process of diffusion have now become established staples of the masses.

Skin care being one such example. Brands like Estee Lauder and Helena Rubenstein were once the American versions of Christian Dior and Chanel, reserved for only the very rich with more time on their hands and softer skin. Nowadays, virtually every school girl is using established brands of make-up and skin care, and even the menfolk have joined in.

It has been a slow process, but gradually things have changed and now even commoner's like me can happily rub shoulders with the nobs who frequent high end market establishments such as those mentioned. By the way, Estee Lauder and Chanel are the same products when sold in the local high street drug store...

So, after a long preamble, I ask what is the difference and why do these stores succeed while others perish upon the shores of uncertain economic times? Window dressing, that's why! Good window dressing and brand marketing conveys a perception of strength and quality, which enhances the value of the same product, sold at the same or greater price, simply because...




Therefore, it is time to enhance my window dressing skills and start to make some more pennies, so that the pounds can look after themselves. Meanwhile, should anyone like to visit my Amazon Shoppe and have a browse please feel free to leave the items displayed and perform a search which will take you to wherever you like within the site. Just remember, I'm a poor struggling artisan who needs all the help she can get...

STOP PRESS: I have just been informed that BJK has cancelled an order with Amazon for the latest volume in the Skulduggery Pleasant series by Derek Landy! Apparently this is not due until May through Amazon, but she was able to pick it up at Easons in Liffey Valley yesterday! Lucky LB...

Right, so! I'm off to sulk now that my joy has been dashed, and anyway, I've a short order special Retirement Card to go and make for a friend. If I remember to photograph it before I had it over, I'll add it to this post later...

Polly Pierce
Vinca Cards