Monday, June 16, 2008

"Polly's Eighteenth"

Gasp! I have just looked at the date and realised that eighteen years ago today I signed my life away...

Sadly much of what has happened since then was not intended nor planned. My life with the boys' father was relatively short-lived; although by todays standards eight years isn't bad! When I reflect on the day in question; we sure did have a good day.

For the first time in June the rain stopped and stayed away for the whole of the day, I even got a slight sunburn on my cheeks while we stood for the photographer and made the best of newfound summers heat. A motley collection of friends and family joined us in celebration of our marriage; it was a tiny village registrar's office wedding; which meant that our numbers were very limited.

At the time I felt old. I probably would have sat upon the shelf for too long had my lovely ex not come along with the magic words. We both now realise just how immature and youthful we were. We both were known for our stubborness; which is perhaps why our marriage lasted as long as it did; neither one of us would admit defeat!

In the past I have treated myself to presents ranging from a pair of handcrafted silver rings from a Donegal craft shop, to a new car and a baby seat; I have wept as I drove behind a wedding party or two and I have celebrated the lives of others. Every year something drags my eyes to the calender in remembrance of the fatal day in June 1990.

On the up side of our fated relationship we share two beautiful children; aged 10 1/2 and 13 11/12 (seeing as this one's a teenager it is important to be precise about these things!). The other most important thing that we have both gained from our immaturity and inability to compromise is the experience of how not to do it.

Thanks to our disastrous relationship we have both journeyed until able to give unconditionally and to receive unconditionally; we have each other to thank for that painful lesson. It took us each a long time, me more so than he; but now we are both in possession of the happiness we dreamed of so long ago...

Therefore, I celebrate this day every year! I wish well upon my ex-husband and his new wife, whom we've known of old, and thank him for teaching me so well on the subject of how not to do it! I made a beautiful bride; it's such a shame that I made him a terrible wife!

The pain that we both felt has now passed, from it we learned; perhaps this time we will both get it right with neither the other in sight...

1 comment:

Jean said...

That's a very moving post. Thank you for sharing it. I wish more split couples were able to say similar things about each other once the dust has settled.
Here's to the future!