Friday, April 28, 2017

Polly's Piercings & Peri-wrinkles Are What Gets Her Up & Down! Isn't That What It's All About?

Right at this moment I feel as though my head is about to explode. Thanks to a series of unfortunate events that've taken place over the past few months life's been a little bit tougher than usual and it's just something that you have to get on with, like it or not. That doesn't mean that it gets any easier, because it doesn't and in some respects it just gets harder & harder...

So what is this doom and gloom? In so many respects like all good tales of woe it involves the heart, death and dying. One thing is for certain and that is that no matter how hard you try and make the best of a bad situation, it doesn't always work out for the best. If there's anything I learnt during my years in nursing is how to recognize the dying. It seems that I haven't lost that skill and sadly our fears were realised when a member of my partner's family passed away a few weeks ago.

While it certainly wasn't unexpected, it was and still is sad to think that we'll never see their smiling face in anything other than a photograph again. This said somewhat bizarrely, I thought I saw them this morning while I was driving home from town. The driver of a car that passed me bore such a strong resemblence that it made me gasp out loud! Isn't it funny how things like this happen? It's possible that I'd passed this same driver many times before, probably on the same stretch of road and just never noticed them until today. Sometimes I think coincidences like this are just wishful thinking.

Since that bereavement we've had other emotional incidents take place, with each family member reacting in their own unique way. Sometimes the tough get tougher, the soft get softer, some of us just carry on regardless, some stagnate and others reach new depths of strength that surprise everybody. Where am I on that line, I'm not sure any more. It's been a tough few weeks and as the partner and parent of other players in the drama that's our life I have multiple roles to fulfill. I'm also a daughter & a retired nurse and neither of those things can be removed from my personality.

Life's full of worry, isn't it? You never stop being that child, albeit an adult who's grown up, left home, lived your own life, got married, had children, got divorced and embarked on countless adventures along the way! In our twenties we're pleased to escape the clutches of our families, cutting at the apron strings with gay abandon at a time when we're meant to forge our own way in the world, secure in the knowledge that home would always be there for us.

Some of my contemporaries, my friends are orphans. They can no longer rely on the ever present support of their parents which must be a hard thing to have to face up to. Some of us have just parent left; having endured the grief that accompanies the death of a life partner and wondering when the next chapter will begin while yet other adult children have both parents. Sometimes to enjoy, sometimes to worry about, sometimes to care for & always to love.

As our parents get older our roles are often reversed. Resentment and hurt can often build up on both sides making it so much harder for both parties and given that one of our largest failings as human beings is the ineffectiveness of our communication skills it's no wonder relationships can sour. So often we take things out on those who love us the most; without even being aware of it!

In an ideal world nobody would experience illness or disease. We'd never grow old and our minds & bodies would remain firm enough throughout the course of our lives to allow us to enjoy the blessings we've been provided with & rejoice in them. Sadly this isn't the case and the fact that it isn't has the potential to harm so many, depending on how we deal with life's events and how much is thrown our way. But what happens when home is just no longer an option? What then...

Life can be both happy & sad. It's been quite sad lately, but I'm still here and thank God so are my near and dear ones. We mightn't all live in the same house any more because I grew up & my own children have or are also in the process of growing up! It's the natural order of life ! When we die I hope that there will be people left behind to mourn us and to watch over the next generation as they continue to grow & repopulate the earth..


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